Hunt & Peck
Two recently retired old school cops open up a Private Detective Agency and try to relate to a new high-tech world, their teen-age children and their ex-wives.
Hunt & Peck
DRAMA – TREATMENT
Premise: Two long-time detective partners are retiring and now have to face a high-tech world, their teen-age children and their ex-wives.
Joe Hunt – Recently retired police detective. Age 57.
Joe Peck – Recently retired police detective. Age 55.
Jill Peck – Joe Peck’s ex-wife who lives next door. Age 45
Amy Hunt – Joe Hunt’s ex-wife who lives next door. Age. 47
Lauren Hunt – Joe Hunt’s 16 year old daughter. Semi-Goth.
Katy Hunt – Joe Hunt’s 14 year old daughter. Princess.
Mathew Peck – Joe Peck’s 17 year old son – computer nerd.
Two long-time detectives and partners are retiring on the same night. Their fellow officers are throwing them a farewell party
INT. – BALLROOM DAIS – NIGHT
A ballroom is filled to overflowing with several hundred people. There is a dais with eight people and several dozen tables, each with 12 people at them. All the tables have empty bottles of beer and wine on them. People are having a good time. Many of the men have taken off their jackets and loosened their ties. There is a large video screen behind the dais. There is a ‘Happy Retirement’ banner draped on the front of the dais. People are laughing out loud, especially the men. There is a man at the podium speaking. On either side of him are the two honorees – Joe Hunt and Joe Peck. They are clearly embarrassed.
COP #1 ‘…and finally, we put together a little montage of the ‘low’ lights of ‘The Joes’ careers.
There is a split screen showing them as young men graduating from the Police Academy in 1982. Then there are pictures of them as young cops and pictures of them, with beards as undercover cops. The audience members are shouting out comments. Then there are pictures of each of them receiving medals for bravery, valor and heroism. There are blow-ups of newspaper articles, with the headlines ‘Hero Cops’. There are other articles with the headlines ‘Cop Shot’ and ‘Cop Wounded in Shoot Out’. The screen then shows both men on a split screen and then each of their injuries is superimposed over their photos – bullet wounds, stab wounds, broken bones, concussions and black eyes. By the end most of their bodies are covered with bandages, casts and scars. The audience starts to applaud. The final photo is a photo shopped picture of two dinosaurs with Joe Hunt’s and Joe Peck’s faces on them. There is a shot of a table with two women and three teenagers, who are laughing and nodding. The man at the podium says “I give you Joe Hunt and Joe Peck…Civilians. God help us all”. The two men stand up to thunderous applause. (4 min – 4 min)
EXT. – DRIVEWAY – NIGHT
Two SUV’s pull up into the driveway of a house. The two women are driving. The families get out of each one. The kids kiss ad hug their fathers and go inside. The men then kiss their ex-wives on the cheek and thank them for coming. Amy Hunt says as she is leaving “if only you guys were half as good as husbands as you were cops.” Joe Hunt nods sheepishly. The women go in one house and the two guys go into the house next door. (30 sec-4:30)
EXT. – DRIVEWAY – MORNING
The two guys are sitting on their front steps, in old gym shorts and T-Shirts with coffee mugs watching a sign being installed on the front lawn. We only see the sign from the back until the very end of the scene. Then we see “Hunt & Peck – Private Investigations”. The two guys clink their coffee cups together in celebration and get back up, with some difficulty, and go into the house. (.30 sec – 5:00)
INT. – HOUSE – MORNING
The men go inside into the living/dining area of the house which they are converting into offices. The living/dining room area is a mess. The couches are in the hallway. Tables are in the kitchen. Boxes full of stuff are along the wall. They sit on two folding chairs and discuss how they want their office to be set up. They don’t agree about anything. They sound like an old married couple. They decide to go out shopping to find what they want. (1:00 – 6:00)
Joe Hunt “I think we should put both desks in the dining room, facing the walls”.
Joe Peck “I don’t want to be in the same room as you. You put your desk in the dining room. I want mine in the living room, facing the window.
Joe Hunt “No that has got to be the client area”
Joe Peck “We don’t have any clients yet”
Joe Hunt “I’m just thinking ahead”
Joe Peck “Oh, yeah planning ahead has always been your strong suit”
FADE IN/FADE OUT
Hunt & Peck are standing looking at the walls.
Joe Hunt “Let’s just get some white paint and paint everything white. It will look nice and clean.
Joe Peck “We’re not opening a doctor’s office. There’s got to be some color”.
Joe Hunt “OK, we’ll get a black leather couch and some black desks”
Joe Peck “That’s some color palette you have”
Joe Hunt “OK, what do you think?
Joe Peck “I think we should go out and see what’s out there. Maybe we’ll see something we like”
Joe Hunt “Done”
INT. – STORE – MORNING
Hunt & Peck are at Staples at the Copy Center talking to a clerk who is showing them various business cards.
Clerk “…and do you want matte or gloss stock?”
Joe Hunt “what does that mean”.
Clerk “Gloss is shinier, matte is duller”
Joe Hunt & Joe Peck simultaneously “Gloss” “Matte”
FADE OUT/FADE IN
Clerk “and this one is card stock”
Joe Hunt (somewhat exasperated). How is that different from the last bunch we saw.
Clerk “It’s thicker”
Joe Peck “What colors can we get them in?
Joe Hunt “What do you mean ‘color’. Business cards are white, with black type”
Joe Peck (to the clerk) “Will you please show my caveman friend here all the colors you can get?”
The clerk shows him several pages of cards in various shades.
Joe Peck “Yeah, fine. You can get colors. But we’re Private Investigators not Interior Decorators. What’s wrong with white?
INT. – CARPET STORE – MORNING
Hunt & Peck walk into a carpet store. They are immediately approached by a Middle Eastern man.
Carpet salesman “What can I help you two gentlemen with”
Joe Hunt “We’re looking for a rug”
Joe Peck “We’re making a home office”
Carpet salesman “Are you looking for wall-to-wall carpeting or an area rug?
Joe Hunt & Joe Hunt (simultaneously) “Wall-to-Wall” “Area rugs”
INT. – FURNITURE STORE – MORNING
Hunt and Peck are walking down an aisle in a large office supply warehouse store. There are desks lining both sides of the aisle. Joe Peck is looking at various desks, touching them, seeing how they are made. Joe Hunt is walking down the middle of the aisle, obviously not enjoying the experience.
INT. – HOME DEPOT – AFTERNOON
Hunt & Peck are standing next to a wall in Home Depot that houses hundreds of paint samples. Hunt is looking at a strip that contains shades of white. Peck has several strips in his hand that have various shades of beige, green and blue.
INT. – BEST BUY STORE – AFTERNOON
Hunt & Peck are standing next to a geeky kid who is explaining computers.
Geeky Kid “…and this one has a gig of memory, excellent graphics capability and…
FADE IN/FADE OUT
Geeky Kid “so I would recommend getting this wireless router and an all-in-one printer that copies, scans faxes and, of course, prints…
Hunt & Peck look at each other. They look lost.
INT – HOUSE – AFTERNOON
The two men are sitting in two big armchairs drinking beer amongst the clutter, telling stories and laughing. They have not accomplished anything. (.30 – 7:45)
Joe Hunt “and then he asks me about whether I might like magenta trim”
Joe Peck (laughing) “I loved the look on your face”.
Joe Hunt “They didn’t ask this stuff when I was a kid. My dad and I would go down to Al’s hardware and get some green paint and we’d paint the house”
Joe Peck “Green? I thought you were a black and white man”
Joe Hunt “My mother liked green. Our house was always painted green. I freakin’ hate green.
INT. – HOUSE – AFTERNOON
Their ex-wives and their three kids are at the door. They walk in and just shake their heads. They are asked what they got done. They simultaneously point to the front yard and say ‘the sign is up”. One wife asks if they painted the sign? – NO. Did you build the sign? – NO. Did you go and pick up the sign? NO. Did you dig the hole? NO. They look more sheepish as the conversation goes on. So all you did was pay for the sign? They both nod. Amy Hunt asks for their list. They hand it over. It is just a few scribbles on a piece of paper. They are asked – ‘Where are your measurements” They say “We know how big the rooms are”. They are asked ‘So how big is the dining area”. They say “20×15”. The wives say “16 x12”. It is measured. It is 16×12. They are asked when do you want to open the business? They respond, “Whenever”. They are asked ‘What is your budget’? They both shrug their shoulders. “Whatever”. Their wives say “So you have a business sign and no business”. They respond “So”. Their wives and kids just shake their heads. Jill Hunt asks for their ‘punch’ list.
Joe Hunt “That would be a pretty long list…”
Joe Peck “No you idiot, not your punch-out list. Your punch list – your to-do list”
Joe Hunt – “Oh”.
They both laugh. Joe Peck hands over their ‘to-do’ list, which is just some words scribbled on the back of an unopened piece of mail The wife says “by the way, your list….is on the back of your electric bill. Did you know that? They shake their heads. The two ex-wives look exasperated. ‘Give us your credit cards’ they are both told by their ex-wives. “What for” “Because Jill and I will take care of all this” Hunt & Peck “You will? “Yeah, but it’s gonna cost you” “How much” “Don’t ask, but it will certainly be cheaper than if you two do it” The guys start to protest. “I dunno”
“After your shopping experience today, do you guys actually think you can get all of this done, say in the next …millennium? They hand over the credit cards. Joe Peck says “This is really so nice of you”. Amy Hunt responds, “We not doing it to be nice, we’re doing it so that you will be able to pay your child support”. The guys are told “OK, so get up early, and we mean our early, not your early, and leave by 7:00am and don’t come back till dinner time”. (3:00 – 10:45)
INT – DENNY’S – EARLY MORNING
The clock on the wall says 8:00. The two guys are out having breakfast at Denny’s with fellow cops. The cops get a call and have to leave immediately. The two guys are left sitting at a big booth by themselves – and they are left with the check. (.15 – 11:00)
INT. – HOUSE – EARLY MORNING
At their home, there is a beehive of activity. The wives and the kids are painting (.45 – 11:45)
INT – SHOOTING RANGE – MORNING
The two guys are at the shooting range. They seem to know everyone. They are both deadly shots. (.15 – 12:00)
INT – HOUSE – LATE MORNING
The ex-wives arrive with a truck following them. The rear of the truck is opened and there are Desks, chairs, a conference table and rugs. The SUV of one of the ex-wives is also full of smaller items. (1:30 – 13:30)
EXT. – VENICE BEACH – MORNING
The two guys are walking along the boardwalk in Venice Beach. They are walking and talking about getting exercise – but they are eating as they are walking. (.30 – 14:00)
INT – HOUSE – AFTERNOON
The son arrives with several computers and printers (1:00 – 15:00)
EXT. – VENICE BEACH STREET – AFTERNOON
Joe Peck comes back to see that he has a ticket. He had parked in a restricted zone. He shrugs his shoulders “Force of habit”.
INT – HOUSE – AFTERNOON
The two ex-wives are putting the finishing touches on the office space. The two girls are cleaning up from the painting. The son is finishing setting up the computers. The office looks great. They all high-five each other and walk out the door.
INT – BAR – LATE AFTERNOON
The two guys are having a beer at a police haunt. (30. – 15:30)
EXT – DRIVEWAY – LATE AFTERNOON
The two guys arrive home. They point at their sign and how much they like it. (.15 – 16:15)
INT – HOUSE – LATE AFTERNOON
The two guys enter the house. The place has been transformed. They are amazed. They walk over to their respective desks which have their names ‘Joe Hunt’ and ‘Joe Peck’ on nameplates and they even have business cards. Hunt is excited that he has a ‘white’ business card. (1:00 – 17:15)
INT – HOUSE – LATE AFTERNOON
The two guys are sitting behind their desks with their feet up on the desks, drinking a beer. There is a knock on the door. Hunt says ‘Our first client’. Instead it’s their ex-wives and their kids. The wives are all dressed up and their kids are all carrying new – iPads. One wife says “get your feet off the desk. Hunt complies. The other ex-wife says – ‘You got 15 minutes’. Hunt says ‘Wha’t? ‘You are taking us out to Armando’s so that we can show off the new dresses that our ex-husbands just bought us.’ The kids all thank their fathers for the new iPads. Hunt asks how much this all cost? ‘Let’s just say it was much cheaper than having you two idiots screw it up and having to have it all re-done’. Hunt and Peck look at each other and agree. One wife says “Besides, it’s a business expense” Hunt says “So”. One wife says “So, it’s tax deductible”. Hunt and peck raise their beer bottles “It’s tax deductible”. ‘Showers’ they are told. On their way up the stairs they are told ‘and wear a jacket’. They both whine ‘Do we have to’? ‘No you don’t have to, we can just take everything back’. They continue up the stairs. (3:00 – 20:15)
Scene 23. They come back down the stairs, shaven, wearing khakis, dress shirts and jackets. They look great. The ex-wives and the kids applaud. They all go out the door. (.45 – 21:00)